domdavis.com

So I’m expecting delivery of two (2) books today on the subject of throwing money away on the stock exchange. Given I was rudely awoken by the postman on Monday I figured I’d go to be early last night, get a good nights sleep and be up in time for him. I duly did this, got something like 10 hours sleep (finally! And it was absolute bliss Few more nights like that and I may even get to the stage where I am not permanently tired) and am now up and waiting for the postman to arrive. It’s proving to be quite dull. I want to have a shower, but can’t in case he comes while I’m having a shower. I want to go to the supermarket, but again, need to wait until he’s come. I just hope he gets here before it starts raining because that’ll put a real downer on things if I have to go to the shops in the pissing down rain.

I so desperately need to get laid. The glowstick plan worked a treat and I got a hug, but it’s getting to be quite pathetic with me round CBT. I need to find some reasonably cute, and above all desperate girl to hit on

So people often say to me, “Dom“, for ’tis my name, “Dom, what is this God Complex you speak of?” and I tell them, “Simple, I believe the universe, the world and everything in it were made specifically to be my play things“.

“Don’t you think this is a little arrogant?“, they say.

“Yes, however, I fail to see the problem“, I retort.

“So“, they say, because people are always so eager to try and point out the flaws in any plan, “if the world was made as your play thing why is there so much pain and suffering?”

Always with the pain and suffering, the question gets to be dull. “I’m not a very nice person?“, which usually shocks them, “besides, I’ve got enough problems without worrying about everyone else“.

“Aha!“, they say, not letting it go, “surely if the world was made as your play thing then you wouldn’t have problems“.

“Not at all“, I explain, “Just like playing chess against someone you’ll always beat. There is no challenge, there is no fun. For there to be fun there must be challenge, for there to be challenge there must be problems.”

“So you created pain and suffering in the world for a challenge?”

“No, because I didn’t create the world, it was simply created for me.”

“So we all just popped into existence when the world was created?“, they asked believing, somehow, that I have all the answers and I’m going to just hand them over.

“I have no idea, do you know how an arcade game works? Of course not, but that doesn’t stop you playing and having fun.”

“But it still means we’re all just characters in your game.”

“Yes, which also goes to explain why people, in general, are such idiots. To give everyone proper intelligence would be computationally expensive, much better to simply deal with the people close to me that I interact with and have everyone else follow some basic patterns“. It’s good to be consistent with your world view.

“How do you know you’re not just a character in someone else’s creation?”

“Aha, that is where the God Complex comes in, the firm belief that this is all for me is unshakable.”

“So you think you are better than everyone else?“, they ask in an incredulous voice.

“Of course I do“, I reply, not adding the qualifying: except when I don’t. That simply creates too many questions.

“OK, so I also believe the world was made purely to be my play thing. We can’t both be right can we“, they say, trying to pick more holes in the idea.

“I guess we could both be right, and the world could have been created for you too, sort of multi-player“, I conceed.

“But surely if you just follow the logic through you could say the world was made for everyone and you’re not special at all, you’re just an arrogant git“, the say, going for the kill.

It’s generally at this point that I get bored of the entire conversation and smite them with a bolt of lightning. True story

Quite often as I walk [not stagger, since I don’t drink] back from the pub I wonder if I could pop into one of the plethora of fast food establishments on my route home, order some food for delivery and then catch a lift with the food. After all, it’s cheaper than a taxi and it saves my food getting cold walking it home. Apparently [according to Des] you can’t which may or may not be because of insurance or the fact that Des was mightily pissed at the times of asking.

This conversation also left me with a hankering for a curry, and a proper one too, not one out of a jar. This is where living by yourself becomes a bit of an issue. In general having food delivered requires the purchasing of enough food for 2 people, or one lard arse. Since I am trying not to be a lard arse I tend to balk at the amount of food I’d need to order and decide on something else. Not today though. Today the desire for curry is such that I retrieved the [as yet unused] curry menus from the glory draw [place where you chuck all the crap] and began the selection process.

I appreciate not all of you will understand the fine art of curry house selection so let me explain: First of all we need to be sure they deliver. One didn’t so they were out. Then we consider what the delivery area is and are they near me (if they’re not they’ll never find the place), so another one dropped. Next, how much do I need to order before they’ll deliver, all £12.50 - £15.00 so we didn’t discount any straight away. Now, do they do the food I want?

At the end of that process we were left with 4 menus. One was discarded instantly for a poorly placed staple that was annoying me. Down to 3. So we pick the shiniest looking one and order. Of course, they can’t find me, but at least they’ve had the good grace to call back and say so, so I’ve told them how to get close to my place and that they should call and I’ll meet the driver outside. Should the food prove to be cromulent all the other menus will be discarded and this one kept. Should it prove to be crap this menu will be discarded and a new one tried next time I hanker for curry.

…or god, depending on how you typo it. And if you didn’t go to university with me then that’ll probably mean nothing to you, however, I was reminded of the advert for this fine product yesterday and managed to locate in on youtube. The PC brigade would have a fit if was ever put on TV these days, but if you ask me it’s the pinnacle of advertising and one of the best adverts ever made.

2 comments

So the bag trick worked, I went to the gym direct of the train and bumped into my neighbour there., which was rather good. I’m still fat