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As we know I like the word spork, but it seems it doesn’t stop there

Proudly procliaming to yourself “sod it, I’m going shopping”, while all well and good, looses some of its impact when you realise that by the time you’ve get to the shops (I want to go to John Lewis which involves Norwich) there will only really be an hour/hour and a half tops in which to do all the aforementioned shopping and do things like avail myself of luncheon. Sponteneity has now been lost and I’ll do some other stuff I need to do round the house today and go tomorrow when I can make a day of it. I will, after all, be unemployed

So it occurs to me that I never provided the final update on the sock crisis that befell our nation earlier in the month. Since I’ve had a photo of the washed, folded and reunited socks on my phone for a while now it seems like the perfect time to check out how well posting pictures on the wordpress iPhone dohicky thingy works. So, without further ado I give you: Socks, paired once again

I can relate to this And yes, I know it’s gone 3am but I’ve been sorting crap out for my pimp. I don’t know, in my day jobs just used to land in my lap. None of this having to look for them rubbish.

Nope - this isn’t SOTW a day early (the title being stolen from a Combichrist song title), it is, in fact Cat’s birthday. She’s… er… actually a lot older than I thought she was, but let’s just say 25 and leave it at that shall we? Anyhoos, given the paranoid boyfriend she went and had lunch with her sisters and didn’t meet up with Dan and I and have Italian at a rather nice place near where Dan works (I could tell you where he works, but then I’d be forced to kill you and tear you to peices, and put all the peices in a fire and no, you would not be Still Alive). Most importantly though, we now have independant adjudication that Dan and I are seperate people (and that Dan is not my brother Dan, no, he’s his own unique person). Anyhoos, happy birthday Cat. Hopefully you had fun

Right, ladies (and I’m sorry, but it seems to be exclusively you), we need to sort this out once and for all. What is it with the pickled onion monster munch? Yes, they are a nice corn based snack but there is simply no way they can compare to the superior snack that is the flaming hot monster munch. You seem to persist in this beleif that the flaming hot monster munch is somehow inferior, or even not edible which is not only wrong it’s bordering on the insane. Hopefully we can put the matter to rest now.

Having returned to NoSOC today I am pleased to announce that the wayward sock has been located. As such the threat level is now down to SocCon 3 and will be further reduced to SocCon 5 on Tuesday once all socks have been safely returned to the sock drawer. I’d like to thank everyone for staying calm in what must have been a very nerve wracking and frightening time. Safeguards are being put in place to ensure world security is not jepordised this way in the future.

My fellow bloggers, it is with heavy heart and great sadness that I must bring you the following news. At 09:00 Zulu on the 28th of June 2008 the Strategic Sock Command moved to SockCon 4 as 6 fully folded, live socks were taken from secure storage and transported to North Norfolk. A pair of active duty socks were sent as escort.

At 21:45 Zulu on the 1st of July 2008 the spent socks, along with others, were loaded into the reprosessing facility to clean them prior to refolding. Due to confusion mixing socks from local containment and from the travel containment normal protocol was not followed and the socks were not counted into the facility. at 23:00 Zulu the socks were removed from the reprocessing facility and taken to be dried in the airing facility. At this point it was noticed that a MkII ‘grey’ sock was missing. SSC immediately moved to SockCon 3 and a full scale local search was undertaken.

The search was called off at 23:20 with the missing sock still unaccounted for. SSC has now advanced to SockCon 2 and a ‘broken arrow’ situation has been declared. It is hoped that the missing sock is still in Norfolk and will be located later this week, however, if it is not found by Saturday there will be no choice but to move to SockCon 1.

I must remind everyone that this outcome is by no means certain and we should not panic. I urge that everyone stay calm and continue to go about their day to day lives. In the mean time I ask that you keep communication channels between Colchester and Cromer clear. May whatever deity you beleive in have mercy on our souls.

Thank you for your time.

Just discovered this blog and have gone through all 50 pages of posts whist laughing rather a lot. Go, see, laugh

So today I am in Vauxhal enjoying a tall, classic hot chocolate, no whiped cream to drunk in… no cream… excuse me, I asked for no cream. No, I haven’t started sampling Starbucks near random tube stations, but instead I am killing time before having a Friday curry with Dan[DerDanDan] so I can chalk up another ‘random person what I met on teh internetwebs’ and put a face to name. I was hoping to meet up with the Soupster too but they’re making her work today (boo hiss) so she can’t make it.

Since this is being posted from just outside the MI6 building I shall not be using the following words: Osama Bin Laden, bomb, jihad, nuclear device, hijack, duty bomb, suicide bomber, chemical weapon or death to the infidel. Hopefully you’ll understand