domdavis.com

Tired, but my brain won’t shut down, which I guess is kind of understandable really. There are a lot of unknowns and trying to sort them out in my head tonight isn’t going to work because… well, there are too many unknowns. So, in no particular order here are the things keeping me awake:

Will my payout (because, lets face it, I’m unlikely to find a new role in the next 2 weeks) be as obscenely large as I hope/need it to be?

How am I going to get all my stuff from my desk home. There’s a load of it and someone is going to have to pack it all up for me if I can’t get into the office. What items do I want? What do I not care about? Even ditching all but the things I really care about (expensive keyboard which I bought, mouse, nice pen, books, more books, even more books) there’s still a load of crap, and since it’s mainly books it’s going to be heavy.

I need to set up a proper home office type thing so I stay in the habit of ‘working’, even if it is just noodling about with my blogs and sorting out photographs. This means getting a new desk, which involves money, which leads me to the payout question.

When is my tshirt for Sedition going to arrive? Will it be tomorrow so I can just pick it up when I go into London for lunch with a friend. What am I going to wear if it doesn’t turn up?

What am I going to put on my CV… actually… do I even have a copy of it… Hmmm, I’ve got a sneaking suspicion that’s on my work computer. Arse. Pretty sure someone must have a copy of it somewhere. Actually, lets go check the RAID arrays shall we? … Hurrah for comprehensive backups So, yes, what am I going to put on my CV, I’ve always sucked at that.

How will I cope with interviews? I’ve given lots in my time, but being on the receiving end really sucks. My business knowledge is quite weak and I really don’t rate myself as being ‘all that’ when it comes to programming (although, to be honest, I rate most people as being absolutely shite given some of the stuff I’ve seen out there so I guess I’m still ahead of the crowd there ).

Will I even get interviews? The industry I work in is suffering rather a downturn at the moment which may last for a while.

… and so on and so forth.

Like I say, unknowns. Once I’ve got the cold hard figure of how much cash I’m getting I can then work out what kind of timescales I can live for before I need to start really pulling the horns in, before I need to start just accepting work anywhere instead of looking for highly overpaid work in the financial sector, before I return home having lost the house and everything I own… that sort of thing . I’m hoping it’s 4 months, 7 months, never - but it might be less.

Then there is the: do I pay off my loan and have less outgoings per month, or will I last longer just paying it off as I have been. Again, need to know the figures. On the plus side it will be nice to be shot of that

Anyway, all this rambling isn’t helping, worth a try though. Guess I’ll go sort out my CV until such point as my brain lets me sleep.

Early night tonight (for a Friday) as I’ve got a day long Tai Chi thing in the morning. Little miffed as it turns out the club I wanted to check out tonight hadn’t actually been canceled, but I figured Tai Chi was better for me than going clubbing all night, plus I’m absolutely shattered, I can always club next month and this is not a regular thing for the Tai Chi so if it’s good and I miss out I’ll be really miffed .

Anyway, the good news is my Camera which got borked a while ago isn’t going to cost as much to fix as I thought it was. It was the shutter that went, but it’s only 60 something quid (plus 180 quid labour and VAT, but I knew about that bit) not the $700 (which lets face it, is going to be £700 the way electronics work) which my mate was telling me a new mirror box can cost. Hopefully have it back in a week so I can start taking photos again

It’s 21:47 and I’ve done nothing but eat crap and play Magic Pen

And when I say crap I mean crap. I was supposed to go out and shop (got absolutely no food in the house whatsoever) but I never quite got round to it so dinner has consisted of 1 x lollypop, some x sherbert and 10 x megasour sweets.

On the plus side I now have more Grendel

Hmm - going to leave the last 2 sour sweets and have another lolly - they’re just a little too sour.

I got very little sleep last night courtesy of notwork rail who seem to be spending months using heavy plant and noisy equipment to do something to the same bit of track. Why they can’t do it during the day I don’t know as its a bloody siding!.

I’m also having a bad hair day.

So I’m back from my sojourn to Cromer Sur Mer and am enjoying my last day of holiday from bed. I really need to get up and sort out posting the photographs I took but before that I want breakfast, and in order to have breakfast I need bread and milk, and to get bread and milk involves getting up, getting dressed, going to the shop and buying some and I really, really cannot be arsed. I think hunger is going to win out over my lack of arsedness though. I also need to sort something for lunch. Meh.

So the upshot of the dream I had last night is that the block of flats I live in collapsed due to me overfilling the bath (thankfully I’d gone outside), my iPhone then got hacked and malware installed on it meaning I couldn’t use it until it had been restored (from my laptop which was under a couple of hundred ton of rubble), my insurance company wouldn’t pay out for anything as I didnt have reciepts (rubble again) so I went home (yes, I know, continuity error) to discover it was actually the block of flats next to me that had collapsed. Yeah. I thought so too

Bugger, just missed the 05:30, so now waiting for the 06:00 stopping bloody everywhere. At least I’ve been able to hunt down some tea. Real, honest to God tea with caffine and other crap that’s seriously bad for me. Should be in bed for 7:30, although I may shower first, God knows I need it. Oh, and in 7 minutes I will have been awake for 24 hours. I’m either a hero or desperately sad. Probably the latter. Must also remember to get some mince out of the freezer. The all sugar diet I’ve been on for the past 9 hours to keep me going means I’m going to be starving when I eventually wake up. I’m rambling, I know. Deal with it. It’s keeping me awake.

Where the bloody hell was everyone?Once again an absolutely storming night at Sedition (Mass, Brixton. No links as I’m a bus home and doing this on my iPhone. Google for it), but we were about 100 people short in the room I was in, and I’m guessing the metal room was the same. All you people landing here after googling for EBM, Darkwave, Industrial, Cyber, etc . get your shit together and organise to be there next month. It’s open till 5 so you don’t even need accomadation, you can just get first tubes/trains home (if I can make it from and too Colchester then you can make it too, and I’m an old git).

Anyhoos, lots of very attractive (and also not very single or very desperate) girls which was nice. I even summoned up the courage to speak to one. She was German and, good though her English was, a conversation in a nightclub was never going to happen.

This months bands were all rather good (way better than Sheep On Drugs, although lacking in comedic value) and we had semi naked dancers with snakes and a person on a trapeese being rather athletic for the crowd.

Music wise there was a good mix with a couple of my favorite tunes played. Top tip for the DJ’s. More Grendel! Specifically Harsh Generation and Hate This. Thanks

I’m now in need of a shower and need to locate a train. Remember, come to Sedition, listen to Grendel

We are going out to Sedition tomorrow night. This is a fact and not up for discussion. I understand you may be tired and you will be treated to a reasonable nights sleep tonight and all the sleep you can handle tomorrow night. Aches and pains thrown up in protestation will be ignored, headaches will simply be carpet bombed with asprin and nurofen. You will enjoy yourself, the sooner you realise this the better. Die next week, we’re on holiday.

Lots of love,

Brain

So what do get if you cross a low grade UTI with too much sugar, not enough sleep, too much protein, strenuous excercise, and 3 cans of redbull (not nescessarily in that order)? You get a proper kidney infection, that’s what. We know this, afterall you’re taking something that the body has got quite good at fighting and removing any form of defence and giving it a nice place to live and plenty of food. Of course it’s going to have a party and invite its mates.

This opens a quandry for me. Firstly this infection is my own fault (well, its escalation is) so, just like a hangover, no sympathy is expected or sought. Secondly I’m going to Sedition even if I have to get an ambulance there. I’ve always been taught that if you’re well enough to go out you’re well enough to go to school.

So, I can struggle into work tomorrow, work at below par for the week, go out on Friday and make myself really ill or I could take tomorrow off, get some sleep and be back at near 100% by Friday with little chance of breaking myself if I’m sensible with my liquid intake. (there is no option where I don’t go out, this isn’t that type of blog).

If this were anyone else I’d tell them to take the rest of the week off and take it easy. Being me I need to apply slightly different rules, namely: Can I walk and am I not contageous? If yes then to into work. If no then am I in hospital? If no work from home. If yes enquire about getting out to get to work. Actually that’s not quite true, I’ll also work from home if my temperature exceeds 102F. So I’m a nutcase (this is borne out by the number of times I’ve left work in an ambulance, turns out bright red urine, temperature of 104F and shooting pains is not something you can walk off) but the amount of time I’ve had off due to the kidneys is getting to be emarassing so you can kind of understand.

I’ve decided to relent a little and let the body decide this time. I shall go to bed early with no alarm set. If I wake up in time to get into work for before 10 I’ll go in. If I don’t then I’ll stay at home, rest, doss about and feel guilty for it.

Footnote: Yes Mother, I know I should take better care of my kineys but I think we can all agree that drinking 3 cans of redbull to get 5 minutes conversation from the cute bartender far outweighs the benefits of working kidneys in later life.