domdavis.com

OK, so I totally stole this from an email from Bathgirl, but hey, that’s how memes are started. So, todays meme is to pick 5 songs that sum up your year.

I’m going for:

Fear Factory, Archetype (from the album Archetype)
Threat Signal, Counterbalance (from the album Under Reprisal) - especially the last bit
Killing Joke, You’ll Never Get To Me (from the album Killing Joke)
Blink 182, I Miss You (from the Greatest Hits album)
Fear Factory, Zero Signal (from the album Demanufacture)

Yeah, been a bit of a crap year really.

Whats on your list. Entries in the comments, or feel free to create your own blog post

I heard on the radio during the religious news section (I’m amazed the PC brigade even allow that, but they have the odd Rabbi on for the talky bit afterwards so I guess that counts as multi-faith) that churches are being encouraged to hold midnight mass at 8pm to stop drunken people disrupting them. I’m sorry?! Much as I detest Christmas this is a Christian country and if people want to go to midnight mass then fair do’s, as far as I’m concerned they can go as nuts as they like over the whole Christmas thing since they’re not being hypocritical. Anyone who wants to disrupt that should be shot. Plain and simple. It’s not big, it’s not funny, it’s just a damning indictment on how low this country has sunk. The same news segment told me that countries in the middle east were all geared up for Christmas in the shops, hotels and homes of the ex-pats (and even some locals) and all seemed to be happy about it, none of this hiding behind ‘happy holidays’ and other embarrassed claptrap that tries it’s hardest to keep everyone happy. Meanwhile people here are buying 36 (yes, 4 lots of 9) rolls of toilet paper in order to tide them over the Christmas holiday. HELLO?! The shops are closed for 2 days. TWO. Unless you’re planning for a large meal with a shed load of amoebic dysentery you’re probably going just a tiny bit overboard here. 3 trolley loads of shopping is also a tad excessive, although if you’re going to need ‘ammo’ for those bogrolls then I guess you’re on target there. I think some people need to get a grip and regain some perspective.

Please accept with no obligation†, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, as recognised within parts of the northern hemisphere of the planet, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all; and a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2008, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures, and without regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform, or sexual preference of the wishees.

†By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one Gregorian calender year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.

“Join in“, they say.

“Be happy“, they say.

“Put some decorations up“, they say.

Well, OK, normally I’d just shake my head and mutter quietly about the idiocy of putting bits of shiny foil on a soon to be dead fir tree but it turns out Christmas decorations can make me smile. The effort we have in our office, for example, makes me piss myself with laughter every time I walk past it. The girls tried hard to make it look festive, but the tree they were given is just so sad that no amount of decoration is going to help.

So we’ve lost a bit of money recently [yes, and the sun is a bit warm], but we’re still a tier 1 investment bank (we must be, only the big boys could loose the amount we did ) so you’d think they could have given us better. At least the ones in full view of the public actually look like Christmas tress should.

Oh, and the cutout bit where the tree is normally where a minion would sit, but we’ve got a few free desks these days after our last round of involuntary separations from payroll.

Canary Wharf (that large development with an unknown number of light bulbs) has, in the shopping part, a number of small Christmas trees (4ft tall or so) nicely decorated with baubles, lights… and signs saying ‘CCTV in operation’. They obviously have problems with people stealing the decorations. How sad must you be to steal Christmas decorations? That said, I want to go steal the signs warning of CCTV watching!

Dear Santa,

I understand you seem to have free reign to break into the majority of the Christian (and even some of the non Christian) worlds places of residence and, in exchange for food, drink and the promise of being good leave crud we don’t want. Let it be known that I have not been good this year (but then that’s OK, the year’s not exactly been good either). I case your helpers fail to pass this message on please note I take home security seriously and will be standing guard while heavily armed on the night of the 24th/morning of the 25th. Break into my house and it’ll be the last thing you do.

Lots of Love,

Dom

So the general reaction I get with my stance on Christmas is that I am being miserable, that I should get into the spirit of things, blah… blah… blah. Yes, I am going to have my first Christmas ‘alone‘ (i.e. no family and/or significant other) but that doesn’t mean I’m not going to have fun. Far from it.

Christmas these days is a whole load of stress I could do without. Buying people crap they don’t want; receiving crap you don’t want; getting together for a session of too much food, which I’m not overly fond of (turkey is just dry, parsnips are the devils food, sprouts are so dull and boring, a standard Sunday roast would be much nicer); and enforced joviality which is usually strained to beyond breaking point by the end of the day (I’m fed up of Christmas day arguments with people over trivial things affecting the ‘perfectness‘ of the day - just go with the flow!).

So lets get back to basics here, what does Christmas really mean?

To me, 2 days off where I want to watch TV on my stupidly large HD TV with Sky HD (not a pathetic 12″ 4:3 CRT with fuzzy terrestrial, or a 28″ SD widescreen with the free sky channels - sorry Mum) play games on games consoles that are at my house (sorry everyone) and not get whinged at that I need to ‘be social‘. I will be seeing friends on the day and present opening (despite asking people not to I’ve got a few) will probably be done on Boxing Day.

And while we’re at it, let’s look at the presents. I’m insanely difficult to buy for, especially in my new place where everything needs to have a place. I earn more that most of my family put together, everything I want in the Christmas present price range I already own. From the consumerist point of view every day is in fact Christmas for me (except, ironically enough, for Christmas day since everything is shut), I get to give and receive and it’s stuff I really want. So the choices for my family are:

• Buy me crap which I’ll smile nicely at, go ‘oooh, how lovely‘ and then ditch at the earliest opportunity
• Buy me something disposable and/or edible which ultimately I wont remember past January
• Buy me something practical which is just dull for the person buying
• Ask me what I’d like and receive a list of ‘things I don’t want badly enough to buy myself or things that I don’t want badly enough to have to buy now‘

OK, so I’m being overly cynical, but you all know I’m right. Presents I have liked the most have in fact been the most basic (for example a washing basket full of individually wrapped kitchen and washing items - never has receiving fabric conditioner been so fun). The difference between me and most people is I’m being honest about the whole thing and I don’t need to hide my consumerism behind some pagan festival dressed up as a Christian celebration.

So be honest with yourself. Are you actually chasing after a day that hasn’t really been the same since you were under 10 or is Christmas really this magical time that somehow I just don’t get? Are you really extra happy or is this instance that I join in the festivities simply a cover for that fact that most of the joviality is enforced and that somehow insisting everyone be happy will somehow make it happen? Can you even remember all the presents you got last year? All of them? Be honest

So my brother has been bitching that my anti-Christmas stance is selfish, although what he really means is he wants a gift from me which really goes to prove my point that Christmas these days is all about consumerism. Anyway, I’ve capitulated and purchased a small gift for each of my [exceedingly large and overly complex] immediate family members (over and above the stuff I already got for my niece and nephew because, lets face it, Christmas is for kids and it’s a little cruel to exclude them  for the sake of  principle).

I shall give everyone 1 years notice this time round. Everything I get this year is being reclassified as a house warming gift.  Anything I get next year will be classified as landfill. If you really must get me something then give the money to charity or something. I will not be purchasing gifts for anyone over the age of 18 next year.