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So, on reflection, actually picking up the bag with the brolli in it this morning may have proved more effective than just packing the brolly and leaving it at home. This thought occurred to me as I left the office [light drizzle] in a coat I can’t do up and tshirt, was joined by the realisation that also leaving my jumper on the desk was a poor move [heavy rain] and is now a trio of mistakes as I find I really should have gone somewhere 30 seconds walk from the office, not the Chinese place 5 minutes run away [tropical storm]. Hopefully it’ll clear by the time my food is cooked but I can see me increasing my dampness levels in the next few minutes. Still, it’s a very nice Chinese

Due to the credit crunch this is your new office.

It would appear, according to the news, that were in the middle of the appocolypse and the world is comming to an end. All the banks will fail, the economy will fail, we’ll regress to the stone age (ok, so maybe I made that up) but there does seem to be a lot of jumping up and down about something that’s been going on for a while now. We knew it was the tip of the iceburg when U’ve Been Sacked decided they’d misplaced USD 4Bn all that time ago. They were bandying about figures like USD 200Bn for the total losses for the industry even then. Roll the clock forward and UBS actually misplaced USD 40ish billion, not going to take a rocket scientist to work out that the USD 200Bn might have been a bit out too. Turns out that not everyone can withstand those kinds of losses so, yes, financial houses have failed. Of course with a couple of big names going tits up the mainstream media has really started sticking its oar in which can’t be helping matters since the markets are jittery enough as it is. So yes, lots of city types are going to loose their jobs, yes, there’s going to be a lot of changes to the landcape of the financial sector and yes, we’re going to have a recession [told you so] but we’ve known that for a year. It’s old news. What we should be lamenting about is me not having the balls to short the FTSE on the spread betting markets. I could have made a killing.

I went to to see Tropic Thunder this weekend. It’s a very silly film, but then that’s part of the reason I liked it Anyway, Colchester Odeon is not what I’d call generous when it comes to legroom so, as usual, I opted for the premier seats. They’re only a couple of quid more but they give you those vital extra mm of leg room (God I miss The Filmworks in Greenwich with it’s comfy leather sofas). Armed with my tickets, drink and sweets I then proceeded into the auditorium only to fin a pair of teenagers sitting in our seats snogging. They looked at me with surprise while I stood there and looked at me, then suddenly went ‘oh, sorry’ and moved so we could get past. It was then that I, in my best condescending voice, because I’m an arogant shit at times, informed them that perhaps they were sitting in my seat. To be fair they did appologise profusely and move straight away (to another premier seat) but it did bring a perverse smile to my face.

So the new computer was partially set up and turned on over the weekend (hey, I had more important things to do ) and all I can say is that it’s insane.. and remarkably quiet. I’ve not yet stressed it (managed to get 4 of the 8 cores to near 100% ‘backing up’ a DVD, which it did in less than 1/4 the time my laptop would take) so I’m not sure if it will sound more like a Lancaster bomber on takeoff when pushed or not, but I’m sure I’ll find out Next few days will be spent feeding it data (there is a reason it has 3Tb of disk space).

Finally arrived, now I get to go do the rest of the stuff I wanted to do this weekend. Won’t be unpacking it until Sunday probably as I’ve far more important things to do. WIll let you know what it’s like then. Right, off to Asda.

I recently went and replaced my copies of Aero [ITMS] and Geometry of Love [ITMS] by Jean Michel Jarre and noticed he’s done a stack load of other stuff recently. Since I seem to own everything he’s every done (except, of course, Music For Supermarkets) I downloaded the new albums and was surprised to see he’s started doing quite trancy stuff, especially on the album Téo & Téa [ITMS]. Anyway, tucked away near the end of the album is this track called Vintage [ITMS] which seems to have been doing the rounds in the clubs (there is even a remix EP [ITMS] with remixes by the likes of ATB) and I have been listening to it and the remixes quite a lot recently, so there you go, Easy Listening Trance

So my new computer never arrived. Turns out that TNT need written authorisation from Apple not verble authorisation from them and the address from me. Of course no one told me this, they just marked the thing as ‘Out for delivery’ and then waited for me to call that afternoon to admit that, actually yes, it’s still sat in the depot and, no, they’re not going to deliver it to my friends office because they’ve not had a email from Apple about that.

Right.

Call Apple. Get through to a call center in the US (generally a good thing, I find Merkins to be most polite and friendly in customer services), nice gentlemen there tells me that a Saturday delivery been authorised and that it’ll be going out to me on the 27th. Hmm, I’d told them I didn’t want that any more, I wanted it to go to my friends office, but still, not his fault and I decided I’d see if I could be about for it to come. I get told I should have a nice day and go call TNT. They confirm that it’ll be a Saturday delivery and that it should be early as the drivers like to get their rounds done and knock off. So probably before lunch. This could work, I’ve got to go out at 11:40 for 30 minutes or so, but the law of sod might not actually afflict me today and I may be about. Need to reorganise some other stuff. Confirm with them that if I miss this delivery they wont send it back to Apple and that I can try having it delivered to somewhere else next week some time if it all goes completely tits up.

Wake up this morning, trying to find out what’s happening, website says ‘please call’ when I enter in the tracking number. I called. Someone answers the phone, tells me to give them 2 minutes and cuts me off. Call again, get answer phone telling me depot is closed. Hmmm. Get through to the call center, need to call another number at 8. Fine. Call the number at just gone 8, get told that yes, it’s been loaded on to a van for delivery [woo] and will be with me before 1. Crap. Sods law is setting me up to be out isn’t it? So now I’m sat here, looking out of the window every time I hear an engine wondering if it’s my damn computer being delivered and I could really do with being out doing other stuff.

I’ve had a set of three cordless phones with answerphone for a couple of years now. OK, so they weren’t hugely expensive, but then they weren’t cheap either and I kind of expect phones to last for… well, I dunno, the last one I had lasted for 6 years and was still going fine when I last saw it. My 3 cordless ones, however, lasted about 8 months before they started acting a bit funny and about 18 months before they started going very wrong (mainly turning themselves off when you hung up and turning themselves off randomly when you tried to make a call). A couple of weeks ago one of the handsets refused to charge, just constantly turning itself off, restarting, turning itself off and going ‘click’ loudly each time it did. I got fed up with them and replaced them.

The new phones (using iDECT providing a clearer sound with special digital technology which, to my ear, just mean they hiss a lot) were unpacked last week, plugged in and left. Figured I’d sort out the ring tones (ring ring please), answerphone message and what have you later. Today I tried to call TNT regarding the on going saga of getting my new computer delivered. Nothing. No ring tone, nothing. Checked all was plugged in properly. Still nothing. Resorted to the manual, perhaps the handsets weren’t properly registered with the base or something. Check power on [yup]. Check batteries charged [yup]. Check cables plugged in [yup, both ends]. Make sure you’re using the cable supplied as other cables wont work [what are you talking about? It's a phone cable, they're standard]. 5 more minutes of faffing and I decided ‘what the hell’, got the cable that came with the phone, fought the cable monster to change the cables over and… tada. Bloody thing works. That said, it’s been nice and quiet over the past week with no people trying to contact Mr and Mrs Reason so I’m quite tempted to unplug them again and only reconnect them when I need to call an 0800 number.

So I was reading yesterday that the Royal Navy (that once fine fighting force that now has subs with bits that fall off) is a little toothless when it comes to piracy on the high seas (Yarrr!) because they’re worried about violating the pirates human rights and that they may claim assylum [sic]. WTF? Surely if you’re attacking others in order to steal, kidnap and hold to randsom you give up a few rights. On the plus side you gain a few new rights, like the right to have one of our destroyers put a ruddy great big shell through your hull. As to claiming asylum, no you bloody can’t come in, you’re a sodding criminal! No doubt some bleeding heart tree hugging lefty liberal will bleat on about them having choice and being pushed into a life of piracy. Well, if that’s the case they can live with you when they claim asylum. Seriously, we need some people with some balls (or handbags, Maggie was fearsome) in government.