The Fear (yes, I’m just as insane as you lot)
So, Saturday night at arround 19:30 I was feeling distinctly nauseous. Why? The Fear. I get The Fear rather a lot and it’s mainly to do with the fear of the unknown. This particular case was due to me going to a new club, by myself and no knowing if I’d get in, if I’d like it or a whole host of other things that could go wrong (you know, normal, every day rational things like everything goes fine just up until the point of the last train when a bouncer spots you, decides you don’t really fit in and kicks you out leaving you to wonder the streets of London for 7 hours while waiting for a train - hey, it says ‘deranged mind’ right there at the top of this page, what did you expect?). 30 odd minutes later I was in and had forgotten all about my irational panicking and by 1am I was having a whale of a time. Next time I go there will be a smaller panic (’Will it be as good?’, ‘What if they don’t play that stuff every week?’) and by the third time I’ll be walking in as if I own the place (see previous point about derranged mind). Good thing really as I find it very easy to find things to worry about and if I didn’t have other stuff dropping off the list I’d be a nervous wreck 
Anyhoos, given I’ve got a lot of the clubbing frustration out of my system I’m beginning to think if I can be bothered with The Betty Ford Clinic next week. I’ve got a busy weekend afterwards so perhaps I should just spent the night in the Hole and get a [relatively] early night. There is another part of me that says I’m just rationalising The Fear now that some of the people I knew were going don’t seem to be going any more although I wasn’t planning on going with them, I just knew they’d be there and even if I was going with people I still suffer The Fear with new clubs. After all, up until this morning I was really looking forward to going. Daft thing is that I haven’t failed to have fun at any of the clubs I’ve been to this year so you’d think The Fear would just take a running jump. Na-ah. I don’t even need molehills to make mountains
