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The hotel room I had on Friday for the nights clubbing was… well… pants. £25 per person per night in central London tells you all you need to know really To top things off I had to wait for 15 minutes to be let in (the guy manning the desk was upstairs sorting out a problem with one of the rooms), 10 minutes to check in (it wasn’t him to let me in so I had to wait for him to come down) and they didn’t have the room I ordered. Instead I got a 5 bed room which, given everyone else had dropped out, was just a bit silly with a bathroom that was shared with another room (turns out the ‘private’ bathrooms are ‘private’ to a couple of rooms rather than being open to the floor which is nice). The shower was so bad that I couldn’t use it, the toilet seat was broken and the rooms were heated to about 60 degrees C.  OK, so I had a TV to watch (a teeny tiny thing with an aerial and a signal that would drop in and out depending where the people upstairs stood) and it allowed me to kill the time between arriving and leaving for the club.

I was also treated to a further 15 minutes stood outside when I got back after the club. The guy on the desk was clearly sleeping because, after much ringing of the bell and banging on the door) I managed to get hold of the phone number and rang the hotel. He suddenly came out of the day room looking like someone who’s just woken up. Since he didn’t know I was only supposed to be a party of 3 (you pay in advance so they don’t care once that’s sorted) and that no one else had checked in with me I claimed that everyone else had got bored waiting for him to answer the door and gone home. I packed my bag, demanded to check out there and then and stormed out in true ‘disgruntled customer’ fashion. Not that they care.

Anyway, hostel on Sunday (so we’ll be able to compare that to cheap hotel ) and then I’ll just be going to clubs that are open until stupid o’clock in the morning so I can just catch a train home.

For your delight and delectation I have provided photos of the room, photos of the clothes I was going to wear (including my new glow in the dark ‘meh’ tshirt), and photos of my clubbing toys obeying the laws of straight (I was bored, OK. I had three hours to kill and gardeners world in fuzzovision just doesn’t cut it). Enjoy