domdavis.com

I have an insane craving for pork scratching.

When it comes to bitching about… well, everything really, I’ve got it down to an art, but the Soupster has tagged me to blog 7 things I approve of so here goes.

1. Boobaloids - Specifically nice looking, well presented boobaloids in my field of vision.

[I have decided people would not accept it if I had boobies, breasticles, and so on and so forth in positions 2-7 so in lieu of those] 

2. Bank Holdays - There’s nothing better than knowing you’ve got a long weekend ahead of you and a short week afterwards. We should have a lot more bank holidays.

3. Capital Punishment In Schools [sic] - OK, so this is something I would approve of if they implemented it, it’s the only way to teach the yoof of today manners, respect and discipline.

4. HDTV - Coming home, kicking back and slobbing in front of the telly has always been good, but when you’ve got a sodding great big HD set to do it in front of it’s almost like being at the cinema, but without the idiots making noise.

5. Spell Checkers - For lysdexics like me they’re invaluable. Of course, I’m doing this from work (tut, tut) which means I’m using a pee cee with a hideously old version of IE which doesn’t have built in spell checking (normally I use a Mac and/or Firefox which both do).

6. Ranting - There is something about building up a good head of steam and just letting rip. My idol on this front is Dr. Cox (from Scrubs).

7. Random emails from cute, single young girls - OK, so it’s never going to happen, but I would most definately approve if it did.

So I’ll be tagging Des, Dan, Sylindria, Goron and anyone else who wants to play since I can’t think of another 3 who haven’t been tagged already.

Update for the shiny. Downloading it now to have a play.

On Wednesday I am in January
On Thursday I am in March
On Friday I am in February

On Wednesday you are in January
On Thursday you are still in January
On Friday you are in February

It’s the same three days for both of us and they are consecutive. How can it be true?

(Bathgirl, you don’t get to play as you know the answer)

It’s Bathgirls birthday today. Happy birthday Bathgirl.

I’m going to Peterborough this weekend. Tonight I shall be in the Met Lounge. For part of the night I may be anything up to 18 years older than some of the clientel. The under 18’s get kicked out when the bands stop, then I’ll just be about 14 years older than everyone else.

The album version is better, most of you will hate it, personally I think it sums up this week in general and today in particular splendidly:

2 comments

People ask me ‘Dom’, because that’s my name, ‘Dom, are you an anal retentive?’ and I say to them ‘Ah, so you’ve met me then?’ That said, more than one person who has asked, or intimated that, has suggested that they like the way I look which leads me to think they need to take a look at their own sanity before questioning mine
Regardless, I’ve always been somewhat anal, the only thing that changes is what I’m anal about. I have a strong sense of correct and incorrect (I wont say right and wrong as we start getting onto moral dodgy ground there and I tend to occupy a position some several light years to the right of most right wing extremists)  based on guidelines that make perfect sense to me and if you can’t follow them then tough, when I get into power if the shooting doesn’t get you then the bayoneting afterwards will I have, in the past, been anal about how my tanks are lined up in computer games, how my chat windows look in World of Warcraft and me owning the most expensive and powerful gaming rig in the world at any given time. Currently I’m anal about how the flat looks (sorry Blue, only way to get and keep something like that, short of marrying an Anal retentive, is to become one yourself ) and having a routine in my life, which is controlled by my iPhone (it beeps at me many times during the day to tell me to do things like get up, go to meetings, have lunch, go home, go to sleep).

Some people think I need to relax, but I’m happy with being anal. It’s me and, along with my extreme sarcasm, it defines who I am. It also helps me with my pedantry  (being pedantic is so much easier if you’re analy retentive to start with ) which is another large part of my life. It’s what gives me the cutting wit that passes for humor on this blog which, incidentally, you lot seem to like and people seem to like me so I can’t be doing too much wrong.

So yes, I’m anal, I’m proud of it I relish in being an anal, sarcastic, pedantic git, but then I suspect most people are, they just try to hide it. Instead of telling us true anal retentives to relax I think they should embrace their own anal tendencies. Join us… you know you want to

It’s a new year, everyone has made their new years resolutions and, inevitably, getting fit and loosing weight features high in the list. This is quite evident in the number of people at the gym today, however, I have a few hints and tips for you:

• Parking in the disabled spot when you’re clearly not disabled to save yourself a walk to the door of a gym is ironic on so many levels I can’t even get my head round it.
• Deodorant is not a substitute for a shower after a workout, no matter how much you use.
• Your body is not that great. OK, for a 50 year old it possibly looks good, but I really don’t want to have you prancing and strutting around the changing rooms stark naked  so we all get an eyeful. My eyes! Ze goggles, zey do nuthink!
• You don’t need to use the entirety of the bench to get changed. Leave some space for others.
• Pissing in the showers is not funny. Not even slightly. Grow up, learn how to use a toilet or wear a nappy.
• Bragging about pissing in the shower just makes us realise what an arse you are. See above.

I give you… two weeks before you start making excuses not to go and a month before you stop going all together

OK, so my spelling and grammar may not be the best, but I try hard and I do aim to stick to the Queens English fighting internetisms (a perfectly cromulent word) that I find unpalatable. It would seem I am fighting a loosing battle. ‘pls‘ as a replacement for ‘please‘ is now used on some chip and pin machinesm, as in ‘pls enter your pin‘. It’s not quite as bad as ‘plz‘ (a term that makes me want to get out the nuke and start lobbing them about willy nilly) but I really would prefer my merchants to communicate with me in English. How long until the chip and pin machines tell you ‘n00b‘ when you get the pin number wrong? Anyone trying to use these terms in scrabble with meet a swift, painful and disproportionately violent death by my hand.