Home defence
Dear Santa,
I understand you seem to have free reign to break into the majority of the Christian (and even some of the non Christian) worlds places of residence and, in exchange for food, drink and the promise of being good leave crud we don’t want. Let it be known that I have not been good this year (but then that’s OK, the year’s not exactly been good either). I case your helpers fail to pass this message on please note I take home security seriously and will be standing guard while heavily armed on the night of the 24th/morning of the 25th. Break into my house and it’ll be the last thing you do.
Lots of Love,
Dom
Oh dear, now I’m convinced you’ve slipped from the reasonably balanced objector into misery. Perhaps you can find happiness in a happy cake prepared by Mad Jack?
You don’t find the thought of some fat bloke with a beard breaking into your house disturbing?
haha! Good point. I haven’t been very good this year either. That said I did do a sponsored run - hopefully Santa will remember that. Well just incase I’ll block up my chimney.
Please remember that Santa does not BREAK in. He comes in through the chimney using MAGIC. Therefore no laws are ever broken, and if you don’t have a chimney, or it is blocked then he just MAGICS his way in through the frot door. THERE IS NO ESCAPE - except when you’ve been naughty of course, when he won’t entertain the thought of coming to your house.
Not quite true - it’s still tresspass, and I’m pretty sure a good lawyer could argue that any suitably advanced technology would appear to us as magic and just because he’s technologically advanced he still doesn’t have the right to break into people houses. Since the only escape is to be naughty I shall just have to make sure I’m naughty enough that he doesn’t come a’breaking in