Lock up your daughters
I’m tired. I’m not sleeping well and I’ve just about had enough (and no, I’m not going to explain or elaborate) so I’m going to stick two fingers up at it, sod off to Nottingham with Bathgirl and terrorise the local female population in Rock City. Furthermore there will be a Circle of Respect (as Bathgirl calls it) on the dance floor as I fully intend to mosh away to a large amount of very heavy, very loud, very aggressive music in lieu of getting absolutely smashed out of my tiny. I have, therefore, some personal messages for people. If they apply to you please take note:
To the cute rock chicks in the Nottingham area: If the answer is ‘no‘ then you’ve probably not had enough to drink. I will happily supply you with enough alcohol to change this to a ‘yes‘. You simply need to ask.
To everyone on the dance floor (both in the main club and The Rig): Get out of my way. I’m going to need at least a 4′ diameter space to avoid knocking into you, whipping you with my hair or cracking skulls with you, etc.
To the DJs: You will play the following tracks. Nine Inch Nails, Sin; Nine Inch Nails, Closer; Ministry, Burning Inside; Machine Head, From This Day. If, for whatever reason, I fail to suitably terrorise the local females you may then play any and all Fear Factory, Threat Signal and Circle of Dust, Brainchild (if its the Brainchild, Mindwarp album stick to Telltale Crime and Prayers of A Deadman, but then I’ll be seriously impressed if you have either of those albums). Please ensure an ambulance with back board and neck brace is waiting by the door if you do.
To the gaggle of students tittering by the side of the dance floor: If you think I look silly you really want to take a look at how ridiculous your boyfriends look trying to headbang without hair. I know I look good and I really don’t give a crap.
To the inevitable numpty who’s been dragged there by his friends and doesn’t fit in: Taking the piss on the dance floor isn’t funny and one of these days someone is going to hit you. Go join the giggling students and take the piss quietly.
It’s going to be big, it’s going to be loud and I am going to be in serious amounts of pain tomorrow. Hopefully I’ll be in a better mood by then.
Right, I need to get ready, go buy a new top and get some form of public transport to Nottingham. Have a good one.
P.S. You’re all more than welcome to come. You can stand at the side and point and laugh. I’ll even buy you a drink or two.
it took a while to get the imagery of you at rock city of out my mind last time you went… i fear this time it will take longer
have a good one!