domdavis.com

When I die I want to be buried in a washing machine. Why? Because it will confuse the hell out of archaeologists in 5 or 10 thousand years time. Think about it; If we could get a significant number of people to do this quietly and without media attention we’ll be leaving a  false fossil record for our descendants to find. All of a sudden lots of very intelligent people with beards will be forced to revisit the theory that the washing machine was some sort of primitive device for cleaning clothes and will start making up theories about how it fit into religion, the burial process and everyday life. Makes you wonder if ancient man has already tried similar pranks

Incidentally, this morbid vision was bought to you by a conversation at work that all started over joysticks (yes, for playing games) and a Google images search which returned this little gem. A friend of mine said he wanted them for his funeral which reminded me of my bizarre idea. Talk about tangents

Ever wanted to buy a badly drawn, overpriced sheep? Well now is your chance

For those who enjoy hearing of others misfortune this thread may make you smile.

So it’s lunch time and I decided I would indulge in that old favorite: the ham sandwich. Of course your average, run-of-the-mill ham sarny is a little boring so I like to spice it up a little. Lacking, as I did, lettuce and cucumber I had to settle for Ham Sarny Deluxe rather than fashioning Ham Sarny Ultimate. Still, for those who wish to recreate the moment (it was like a party in my mouth and everyone was invited) here is a simple step by step guide .

First off, we need bread. I prefer thick cut soft white bread, in this case Hovis square. I suppose you could use brown, but if you’re going to do it properly and get granary.

Next up we add butter. Usually I’d use proper butter out of my electronic butter dish (which keeps it at the perfect spreading temperature, it’s very cool ) but I’ve not been using the butter fast enough so I now get small tubs of Anchor [not so] spreadable. Little bit on both sides.

Now for the first secret ingredient: Marmite. Add to taste, I prefer a reasonably good covering. I am aware that some people out there don’t like Marmite. If you’re one of these people then seek help .

Now for the ham. I’ve used dry cure honey roast ham but you can use whatever you fancy.For the neat [read: anal] you may want to trim the ham to the right size.

Next up: the cheese. Again, this is down to personal preference, but I’ve used mature cheddar.

And now for the crowning glory: the crisps.  You just can’t have a proper ham and cheese sarny without them

Add the top slice of bread and cut in half.

Yummy

The blog is not the only thing that’s been suffering in the past couple of weeks, I’ve also been rather naughty and missed 2 sessions at the gym. In my defense I did have a really nasty cold on Thursday (not quite man-flu, but getting there) and I’ve been having a ‘do nothing, can’t be arsed to leave the house, let alone do nearly 10Km’s worth of exercise few days’. Last Tuesday I was very good and managed 600m on the cross trainer, 6Km on the bike and 60 lengths in the pool. Sunday I thought I’d just see how far I could go on the bike, which turned out to be not very far…

I was supposed to be seeing my parents on Sunday but I was out Friday night and Saturday night (such a social butterfly, I know) so I got up late. Instead I packed my stuff, made a fresh liter of squash for my drink bottle and headed to the gym. I got changed, plugged in the iPod and headed for the machines. Normally at this point I’d put my drink into the drink holder and get on the machine. Today, for some strange reason, I thought I’d put my drink somewhere near the drink holder and let go, allowing it to fall to the floor and disgorge and entire liter of squash over the floor. Which was nice. I then spent 5 minutes mopping the drink up with my towel (didn’t really do a good job), then another 5 minutes doing a very fast 3km on the bike before leaving with a “Wow, worked up a good sweat there, I meant to do a hard and fast workout and I’m not running away before anyone notices I spilled my drink everywhere” look on my face. To make sure I didn’t bump into anyone else who may have seen me drop my drink I got changed without showering, dashed home, threw my clothes in the wash and showered there. Ah, the shame .
I’m assuming when I go tomorrow the mess will be cleaned up and I can do my normal routine without making a complete arse of myself

Some people have waaay to much time on their hands. Still, if you fancy having a running total of who’s died of what among other interesting facts then I’d suggest taking a look at this rather… interesting world clock.

Sometimes you just see really random things in London

OK, the majority of you aren’t going to understand so you may as well head on to the next post now

Since those who are going to understand probably won’t believe me I decided to take a photo. Yes, it’s the Lumines high score table for Challenge Mode, yes, I’ve beaten my previous high score (which you all thought was rather good) by 200,000 points, yes, that’s 574,812 points, yes it took me something like 3 hours to get that score, yes I really am that sad. You can ignore the really low scores, this is a new PSP with a new copy of the game (sold my old one a while ago) and I’ve only managed to complete 4 challenge mode games because it takes forever to do these days. The other scores have been from other people noodling about on the PSP.

Few random shots of the area near my place. The first is the park thing I walk through in the morning to get to the station (there used to be a shortcut through the station carpark which I used on days when I was running late but they’ve closed that up - boo, hiss!), the second is a picture of the woods by the development and the last is the field I walk through to get to the pub (you’d almost think I lived in the countryside, especially since you walk through the woods to get to the field Oh, and when it becomes cold and wet I’ll be walking the road route to the pub… or getting a taxi - well, it is a 15 minute walk )

I’ve got no idea what this is but all I saw was big tail which, to me, means it might sting. It was flying around in my bathroom. Not being an airy fairy tree hugging animal lover I simply unloaded a good 30 second blast of fly spray on it and left it for 5 minutes. Seems to have done the trick Anyone got any clues as to what it is [was]?