Totaly Random
So it’s lunch time and I decided I would indulge in that old favorite: the ham sandwich. Of course your average, run-of-the-mill ham sarny is a little boring so I like to spice it up a little. Lacking, as I did, lettuce and cucumber I had to settle for Ham Sarny Deluxe rather than fashioning Ham Sarny Ultimate. Still, for those who wish to recreate the moment (it was like a party in my mouth and everyone was invited) here is a simple step by step guide 
.
First off, we need bread. I prefer thick cut soft white bread, in this case Hovis square. I suppose you could use brown, but if you’re going to do it properly and get granary.
Next up we add butter. Usually I’d use proper butter out of my electronic butter dish (which keeps it at the perfect spreading temperature, it’s very cool 
) but I’ve not been using the butter fast enough so I now get small tubs of Anchor [not so] spreadable. Little bit on both sides.
Now for the first secret ingredient: Marmite. Add to taste, I prefer a reasonably good covering. I am aware that some people out there don’t like Marmite. If you’re one of these people then seek help 
.
Now for the ham. I’ve used dry cure honey roast ham but you can use whatever you fancy.For the neat [read: anal] you may want to trim the ham to the right size.
Next up: the cheese. Again, this is down to personal preference, but I’ve used mature cheddar.
And now for the crowning glory: the crisps. You just can’t have a proper ham and cheese sarny without them
Add the top slice of bread and cut in half.
Yummy
Is’nt it missing the little sprig of parsley on the top?
Not allowed to eat parsley
Hmm now I’m feeling hungry.
Ah you’ve done it all wrong.
You’ve cut it into rectangles rather than triangles. Triangles taste much better. I thought everyone knew that. Party triangles are even better than that! You’ve only put marmite on one slice of bread when it clearly needs to go on both slices. You also need to lose the ham and add some tomatoes (cherry or thick slices of the big ones). I know technically it wouldn’t be a ham sarnie anymore but it’s an improvement. Trust me.
It seems obvious to me that you need practice so I’m going to help you out here and offer to let you make sandwiches for everyone on the Internet until you get it right. You know that it’s for the best.
The rectangle is far superior to the triangle when crisps are involved, the corners of the triangle having a tendancy to shed thier load. Marmite on both sides is acceptable but I tend to just marmite one side. Removal of ham and replacement with tomatoe is just plain wrong
If everyone on the Internet will form an orderly queue outside my door I’ll begin preparing… 
Dom, you don’t post for weeks and suddenly 6 come along at once .. and one about food.and I’ve not eaten yet.and am starving! Are you a bus? Don’t see one for ages and then they all arrive at once?
I’d hardly call it weeks
Like I said in one of the myriad of posts that suddenly got splurged; I was busy so didn’t have time to post. I grabbed a spare hour and rectified that including writing up the backlog of stuff I’d meant to post (the insect one should have gone up weeks ago). The food one was a bonus, I was on a roll but needed to eat, decided to document the food creation process as a laugh. Besides, Blue was hassling me to blog 
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