domdavis.com

Someone is trying to get hold of Mr Reason on my number. Mr Reason doesn’t live at my house so the conversation usually ends when I tell the caller its the wrong number and they hang up. Today we had a rather persistent guy from an Indian call center trying to sell Mr Reason something so I decided to have some fun:

Him: Hello, I am speaking with Mr Reason?
Me: No
Him: Would it be possible to speak with Mr Reason?
Me: No. You’ve got the wrong number
H: Am I calling <number>?
M: Yes.
H: Then could I speak to Mr Reason?
M: No, there is no Mr Reason here. You’ve got the wrong number.
H: Sometimes our data is incorrect, may I ask if you are the owner of the property?
M: Yes I am, and I am not interested in what you are selling
H: I am not selling anything sir.
M: Oh really?
H: [proceeds to whitter on about something to do with mortgage rates and banks, I wasn't listening and his accent was quite hard to understand]. Sir, can I ask how long you have left on your mortgage?
M: [lying, but what the hell] I don’t have a mortgage.
H: You are not the owner then?
M: I am the owner.
H: Then may I ask how much longer you have on your mortgage?
M: I don’t have a mortgage.
H: [getting very confused] May I speak with the person who has the mortgage?
M: There is no mortgage on this property. I own it outright!
H: But… so the mortgage owner is not there?
M: There is no mortgage owner. I bought this house with cash. Some of us do have it you know. [the last bit was done with a really hoity toity accent]
H: Well sir, would you be interested in a transferring your mortgage to a lower rate?
M: I don’t need a mortgage, and you are selling something aren’t you?
H: No sir, I am simply offering to save you money on your mortgage.
M: You are aware that this number is listed with the TPS service?
H: <click>

I do so much love playing with cold callers